Shatter
by prettylittleliars39464
Summary: Then I hear a faint crack. I think there is someone behind me. Then I feel an excruciating pain, and I was sure someone had just stabbed me a million times. This is my first Hannily, story. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

_No P.O.V_

Hanna and Emily have been together secretly for 5 months. Emily has been out for 2 years, and broke up with Paige when she started liking Hanna even more than she already did. Emily has liked Hanna for as long as she could remember. When she found out Hanna felt the same way, she told her how she felt. After a kiss or two to confirm their feelings, the got together. No one knew about their romance yet. Not their parents, not even their best friends. Now they're planning to tell them.

_Hanna P.O.V_.

"Oh God. They're gonna hate us! They're gonna be so mad for not telling them! They won't talk to us. Dammit, why didn't we tell them?!" I couldn't stop thinking of the worse scenario. What is they stop talking to us?! I mean, I would if I were them. Just as I was about to freak out again, I heard my girlfriend sigh. I look up at her as she begins to talk in a soothing voice. "Han, they won't stop being our friend. They'll be supportive. It might take them a while to figure out why we kept this from them, but they'll come around eventually. I promise. And if not, well, we have each other, right?"

I take a deep breath and nod. She was right. Right? Ugh, why is life so confusing?

Soon, Spencer and Aria come over. We had invited them over to go to Emily's house at lunch earlier that day. After some drinks and some rounds of truth or dare, Emily and I glanced at each other and nodded. I take a deep breath. "Guys, Em and I need to tell you something." Aria and Spencer exchange a glance and turn back towards us. Then Emily speaks. "W-we're dating."

Aria and Spencer's eyes go wide for a second, and then they smile at us. "Oh my God!" Aria starts, "You guys are too cute together! How long? Like a week?" I look at Emily through the corner of my eye. We had agreed on saying 2 week and 3 days, but I felt a strong urge to tell the truth. So I did. "5 months," I answer.

Emily's grip on my hand gets tighter and the two girls across from us stare with their mouths wide open. _What have I done?_ Then I see the anger and confusion in my friends' eyes. Spencer is the first to talk. "Why would you keep this from us? I thought we were your friends!" Then Aria. "I can't believe you two! We tell each other everything! Do you not trust us?"I shake my head. "N-no. That's not it. I just wasn't ready.I didn't want to tell anyone. I'm sorry. Please don't hate us," I say, surprised at the weakness of my own voice. Aria shakes her head. "It might be too late for that."

My vision suddenly fogs up and my eyes begin to sting. I feel Emily let go of my hand and run upstairs to her room, so I follow. Her door is slamming shut when I catch it and push it open. She is sitting on her bed with her head in her hands. "Emily," I start. Her head shoots up and she looks at me with angry and bloodshot eyes. "I thought we agreed on 2 weeks and 3 days! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She yells at me angrily.

I look down at my feet and speak. "I wanted to be truthful," I explain to her honestly. I peer up and she Emily shaking her head disappointedly. "I can't believe you right now. This is your fault! You're the one who wasn't ready 5 months ago, and you're the one who had to tell them the truth! You know what, this was mistake. We're a mistake. Why did I leave Paige for you?! Paige would never do this to me!"

Then I hear a faint crack. I think there is someone behind me. Then I feel an excruciating pain, and I was sure someone had just stabbed me a million times. That's when my heart broke. Tears were spilling out of my eyes and down my cheek, falling down and to the ground, splattering on the floor. I hear my breathing ten times louder, and yet not at all. I look into her eyes again, and I don't see the love I usually do. I see pain and anger. Then they change. They turn slightly regretful. Everything is happening in slow motion, though. I don't even feel it happening. The only thing I feel is the pain in my chest while brain turns numb.

Before either of us can say anything, I dart down the stairs, letting out a strangled sob as I race down them. I grab my keys on the table next the front door, still crying uncontrollably. I race out into the darkness, which is lite only by the moon, stars and yellowish glow of the porch and street lights, casting shadows of every object, painting my falling tears on the ground in black. I hear the door open again after I swing it shut, but I'm already in front of my car. I hear 3 people calling out to me, shouting my name and telling me to come back. But instead I stick the key in the ignition and drive away.

**A/N: This is my first Hannily story, because I love Hannily. Anyways, please review! I'll update if you all like it! Tell what you think and what you want to happen, please!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Emily P.O.V.

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. When Hanna bolted down the stairs and out of my house, I immediately tried to stop her. I ran to the door and heard her in the driveway sob, and Aria, Spencer and I all called out to her. But she left. She left crying, and I'm sure, heartbroken. I felt so terrible. She pulled out and drove. I knew she was going over the speed limit as she drove down my street and I had a terrible feeling.

I grabbed my keys and Aria grabbed my wrist. "Emily, Spencer and I are still confused on why you didn't tell us, but we little better now. We understand Hanna wasn't ready. But now I think she needs to be left alone. We'll call her later, okay?" I shake my head no. I know Hanna is in trouble so I go off after her. Aria and Spencer jump in the car after me.

"Guys," I say to them, "I don't think Hanna is safe. We have to find her. I messed up. I told her… I-I told her we were a mistake, and that I shouldn't have left Paige for her." It hurt to say that. It hurt to look at my friend's shocked expressions. But most of all, it hurt to know I hurt Hanna. So I put the keys in and drive. The three of us look around the road, searching for Hanna's car. Then, ahead I see a faint light. I see a piece of metal lying in the road before we turn the corner and I fear the worst. Hanna got in an accident.

When we turn the corner, I see her car. Beat up and early recognizable. It's crushed up, slightly resembling a cube. It's flipped on its side and all the windows are smashed. On the side, a huge indent is the, indicating a car. Someone hit her car and drove off. All too familiar memories of the car hitting her head on at Camp Mona a few years back came flooding to me. I pushed those thoughts aside and jumped out of the car and ran toward Hanna, while Spencer and Aria stayed close behind. I reached it and climbed to the top, which was really the driver's side door. I tried to open it, but it was bent shut.

I climbed into it through the broken window, cutting my side on the glass on accident on the way down. I cursed, but that didn't hurt as much as seeing Hanna. The car that hit her hit her from her side, and flipped the car over, apparently a few times. She was thrown to the opposite side and was covered in blood, glass, cuts, and bruises. Her hair was matted down with blood and dirt, and mascara ran down her face. Glass shards stuck in her everywhere, and blood made her body and face tacky. Some of her hair stuck to her face, chest and shoulders from blood and tears.

She looked so… lifeless. So weak, and broken. Her body was sprawled out and her left arm twisted in an unnatural way. I knew that a small flame was on the back of the car, and around the left side from gasoline, and knew I had to get her out of there. I lifted her light body up and crawled through the windshield. I lied her down on the ground and heard sirens in the distance. It felt like entirety before the lights grew larger and arrived to take Hanna away.

To take her away.

To leave me here, regretting everything.

I hadn't realized the tears streaming down my face and the fact Hanna had been whisked away by the ambulance until I felt Spencer's hand on my shoulder.

This is my fault. All of it. She might die. She could be dead. A could've hit her. I shouldn't have let her leave. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have broken her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

No P.O.V.

_I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have. _Those were the only words going through Emily's head. Other than remorse, all Emily felt was numb. She felt numb. Her brain, her body- everything just went numb at the thought of losing Hanna. She knew if she didn't say what she did, Hanna wouldn't have ran out, she wouldn't have driven off and gotten in that accident. She was also scared. No, terrified. What would happen if she died? Emily didn't even want to think about it. It hurt too much. No, not after all they've been through! Hanna couldn't die because of Emily after all A has done to them. But Emily couldn't help but believe that Hanna might die, and it would all be her fault.

As the three girls sat in the hospital waiting room, Emily let out a sigh and put her head in her hands. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself not to cry. She felt Aria rest a comforting hand on her shoulder. She was shaking, as were the other girls. Then a middle age female nurse came in and stood in front of them. She looked sad and sorry, and Emily immediately feared the worse. Just as she was about to have a meltdown, she said to them, "Your friend is okay. She isn't conscious right now, and most likely won't be for a while longer. She has a broken arm and sprained ankle. She has some very minor burns, and a few deep gashes, cuts and scars, which have caused blood loss. When she is fully conscious and her heart beat regulates, we will clean her off and get the blood out of her hair and clothes, and if perhaps one of you wouldn't mind getting some of her clothes for tomorrow or tonight, depending on when she wakes up." The three girls look at each other and nod, knowing they could pick up some of Hanna's clothes she could wear for when she can leave.

"Well," the nurse said, "you three should go home. Visiting hours will be over in 2 minutes. I will call if we get any changes in her, and you can come tomorrow morning." The girls nodded again, and gathered their belongings and left.

Spencer P.O.V.

I honestly don't know what to feel, or how to act. It hurt to her what happened to Hanna, and the state she is in now. I now that the only person that can give me comfort is Toby so I turn to the girls and speak. "I, um… I think I'm going to head to Toby's. I kinda need him right now." Aria nodded and Emily just kept walking.

We all gather into Emily's car, and Aria- who was driving- dropped me off at Toby's loft. I went into The Brew and ordered two coffees. I paid and headed up stairs. People were giving me weird looks but I brushed it off. I got up to the loft and knocked. A couple seconds later, Toby came. "Hel- oh hey Spence! What happened, are you okay?" His expression immediately became concerned. I stepped in and set down the cups. I walked to the mirror and then noticed the tears and mascara streaks on my face. I turned to Toby again and he engulfed me in a hug. I cried into his chest and eventually pulled away slightly.

"H-Hanna and Emily have been dating, well they told us, and I-I don't really know but I guess they were gonna tell us they've been dating for like two weeks, but Hanna t-told us the truth that they've been together for 5 months, and A-Aria and I got mad. Then Hanna just came running down the stairs crying after her and Em went up, and I guess they got into a fight. So we drove to find Hanna, and we found her in her car, but someone hit her car and n-now she's in the hospital, and she might die!" Most of my words were muffled by Toby's shirt, but he understood. He always did.

2 days later

Emily P.O.V.

Hanna didn't wake up that night, or the next day, or the next. She had slipped into a coma. She still just lying in the hospital bed, with a broken body, and a broken heart, and I knew I was the cause for both. I needed her to wake up. I needed to know that she was okay. I didn't care if she was pissed off at me as long as she woke up. I needed her. I really, REALLY did. We couldn't lose another friend like we did with Ali, even if that didn't really happen… but Alison and A were really on the bottom of my agenda at the moment.

Even though I desperately wanted and needed Hanna to wake up, I still _was_ a little scared of what she had to say. I mean, I need her to be okay, but I don't want her to hate me in the process. But I wouldn't be lucky enough for her to wake up AND forgive me. I mean, I don't know what I was saying. The best decision of my LIFE was to get with Hanna. Why would I say I regret that? Was that something deep in my heart coming, deep in my brain, maybe? No. It couldn't be. I don't feel that way in one ounce of my body. My heart belongs to her. I need her.

I was at school with the girls. I had no lab partner next to me, since that was usually Hanna. Aria and Spencer sat together as partners in front of me. The teacher said I could join the group, so we all gladly obliged. We worked on our experiment for a bit when the teacher got a call. We didn't really pay attention, and continued writing notes and doing the experiment. "Emily, Aria and Spencer." We all looked at the teacher who was holding the bottom of the school phone. "You are dismissed from school. Please go to the hospital, your friend is awake." I grabbed my books and shoved them in my bag. I took off, the other two shortly behind. We all jumped into our cars and headed off.

What will she say to me? Is she gonna hate me? I would if I were her. But maybe I could make this right. Maybe I can work this out. I need her to be okay. I need to fix her, to help since this is my fault anyways. I just need a chance.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Hanna P.O.V.

I woke up a mere 5 minutes ago. My head was pounding and my body was sore, but what really hurt was my heart, which felt like a bubble was swelling inside it, and it was deprived of oxygen. It just ached, and I felt some memories flooding. I remembered pretty much everything. A, Alison, Caleb, Toby, Ezra, my family. But I felt like a big whole was missing. I couldn't remember who or what I was thinking of. I just faintly have thoughts of these 3 or 4 girls, but I wasn't sure if they were important or not.

I concentrated more, trying to remember these people were, but realized if I couldn't remember them, they must not have been important. So I waited for someone to come. Maybe Caleb, or Toby, or my mother. I just knew that the woman called someone important.

A couple minutes later, the curtain around my room was pulled to the side, and 3 girls my age came running in. Suddenly, I recognized them. I didn't remember their names clearly, though. Just something was and S and A or E or something. I knew they were involved with the A thing, too. But I couldn't exactly remember_ them _as people, or friends or family or whatever. Just how they were involved.

The one that came in first looked strangle regretful. _ She's not the one who did this to me, right?_ I mentally shrugged and looked at the other two next to the tan girl. One was short and one was tall. They all looked worried, yet relived at the same time. They all stood there for a second, before rushing to my sides and bombarding me with questions.

"Hanna, are you okay?"

"Are you in pain?"

"I'm so sorry Hanna, I love you." _Sorry? Why? _

"Do you need anything?"

"Do you know who hit you?"

They stopped when they realized I was just kinda staring at them dazed and a little confused. The tall one who had pulled away. "Oh no," I heard her mummer. She grabbed the other two and they all whispered quietly with wide eyes and pale faces, while I sat the confused and slightly careless.

Emily P.O.V.

No. No, no, no. This can't be happening. I couldn't have done this to her. She can't have lost her memories! The girls and I ran back to her side much more slowly and calmly, even though we were all shaking, especially me. We sat on the sides of her hospital bed, and Spencer took a deep breath. "Hanna?" She started to say while I sat to afraid for words. "Do you know our names?" She finished.

Hanna kinda just looked at us a little blankly. She blinked once. Twice. Three times as we all sat in silence. She opened her mouth twice before closing it again, like she forgot how to speak. Oh damn. I didn't do THAT much to her, right!? Then I heard her soft voice.

"The only names I know are Caleb, Toby, Ezra, Mona, Lucas, Kate, Isabel, mom and dad. Or I guess Ashley and Tom."

I felt my eyes burn and I looked down and wiped my eyes with my hand, and sighed. "Well," I heard Aria say, "I'm Aria. This is Spencer, and Emily. Do you know about… uh, A?" I looked up and saw Hanna nod. Then Aria continued. "Well did you know that we are also targeted my A" She nodded again.

"Good. Do you know about your love life?" I felt my heart ache as she Aria asked that, dreading to hear the answer. I stared at Hanna with regret and tears filling my eyes. She made eye contact with me, and for a second, I saw it. I saw the little glimmer of hope, and love, and life. I saw the little glint of fun that is always in Hanna. I saw the person I fell in love with a long time ago, not the girl who doesn't remember my name. Then I realized that she remembered, even if it was only for a second. She at least remembered what we had, or felt something. I saw her eyes widen slightly, then disappear, along with the shine in her eyes, like she forgot.

She looked down at her hands and shook her head no. She didn't remember. I sighed again and she looked up at my slightly without moving her head. I saw some faint tears in her eyes and they looked slightly sorrowful. Her eyes seemed to flicker between the Hanna I – we all remember, and the one who doesn't remember us. The seemed to switch between love and confusion, between fun and darkness, but mostly between remembrance and, well… cluelessness. Which hurt.

I heard Spencer and Aria sigh. Then Spencer started again. "Well, the three of us are your best friends. Um, Emily is your-" I cut her off before she could say anything. That's not exactly something you just say to a person who doesn't remember you. "I was your roommate for a while. I lived with you. I mean, I might go back to your place for a while this summer, too, so… yeah." I sent Spencer a look saying what I thought before about that you don't just come out and say that. She just nodded.

Before anyone could say anything else, though, I just felt a wave of energy go through. I really came to terms with this. Like it just hit me. I realized everything. Hanna could've died because of me. She practically was dead, and that was right after we got into a fight, and I said something I really regret. Now, she doesn't remember who her best friends are, or me. She doesn't remember _me. She doesn't remember. _Suddenly I felt a lump grow in my throat and sting it and I let out a choked sob as tears soaked my cheeks. I ran out of the room not knowing what was happening, or what I was doing.

_What have I done!? I've pretty much ruined her life. _I heard footsteps behind me and knew that it was Aria, but I kept running. When I got the hospital door I finally stopped and sat. I leaned against the wall and sat crisscrossed, and soon I felt Aria do the same next to me.

Hanna P.O.V.

I didn't know why that girl, Emily, ran out of the room crying so hard. Well, maybe I did… but I didn't want to. I felt like I remembered something for a second. I remembered her, that girl. I felt so strongly for her.

I turned my head to look at… Spencer, when she started talking. "Listen," she said. "You can't tell Emily I told you this, but do you want to know the truth? About everything?" I slowly nodded my head and she spoke again. "Emily is your girlfriend. You just told Aria and I that you two have been together for 5 months, and we got mad. I don't know what happened between you and Emily when you guys ran upstairs, but you left crying after that and got in a car accident. Emily loves you more than anything, that's why she ran out, because she thinks it's her fault you're… here, I guess. Like this. Hanna, she loves you. We all love you and we just… we all really need you to remember, okay? We'll help you remember, too. Try to jog your memory a bit. But please, Hanna. We need you," she said almost in one breath as she nearly started crying.

I didn't know how to feel. What? Emily is my… girlfriend? These girls are my best friends? I got in a car accident? I felt a numbing sensation and black dots faded my vision. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to alarm Spencer. Then it was only black, and my hearing was gone. I felt my head fall back and hit the pillow. Then I started seeing something. But it was something that felt familiar to me, and it just felt like very strong dejavu. I saw Emily sort of, and I felt her lips press against mine. Then I saw Emily and me on the couch, except this time it seemed more like a dream, because I was able to see both of us, not like it was just in my point of view. I don't know what we were watching, but it was a movie. Then Emily kissed my cheek, and I turned towards her. Then she said something, but I didn't know what. Then we both slowly leaned forward 'til our lips met. Suddenly I saw myself in a room with Spencer. We were both talking but I couldn't make it out. Then the block in my ear disintegrated and I caught the last thing the tall girl was saying to me.

"If I hadn't met her, I never would've be friends with you."

I felt myself smile, and saw me smile, too. Then I was lying on Aria's bed with her sitting next to me. We were on a laptop, and then all I heard was coming from me. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool my best friend and you're dead freakin' meat." I was confused at that but laughed a little. Then I was with all four girls at school. It was raining hard outside, and tons of kids were in the library studying. We were all laughing and talking. I heard Emily ask something about what she missed. I heard myself reply something like, "well they studied and I annoyed them."

I realized they really were my best friends. Emily really _was_ my girlfriend. I remembered. Then as I started to open my eyes I felt myself being dragged back into another flashback. I was trying not to cry as Emily yelled at me.

"I thought we agreed on 2 weeks and 3 days! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

She was upset, and I realized this is what happened before the accident. She yelled some more but I couldn't hear what she was saying, until she said the last part.

"Why did I leave Paige for you?! Paige would never do this to me!"

Then I just saw me running. Then it cut to me being in the car. Then I saw headlights. I saw a black hoodie in the driver's seat through my tears and then BAM. I saw darkness, and then a hospital room. Which a saw in the flashback, until I realized that I was actually now awake. I looked around and realized no one was here so visiting hours were over.

I had no idea about what to do about Emily. I remembered everything, now. All the girls, and everything that's ever happened. But… I didn't want to. Well, I didn't want to remember what happened with Emily right before the car hit mine. What do I do when I see her? Do I forgive her? Do I at all…? If I didn't want to remember what happened with Emily, or maybe anything romantic with Emily at all, then I wouldn't. Well, I would pretend I wouldn't. Things might be easier that way. When I get released from here, Emily and I can start over. Maybe. I just, I don't think I could go through anything like that anymore. I didn't want to. Maybe that was it. Maybe I just didn't want to be with Emily. The simplest way to do that would be to say I don't remember. I don't want this. I don't want _her_. …

….

Do I?


End file.
